Bug 962869 - Some Textual improvements and a typographical correction
Some Textual improvements and a typographical correction
Status: CLOSED WORKSFORME
Product: Fedora Documentation
Classification: Fedora
Component: release-notes (Show other bugs)
devel
All Linux
unspecified Severity unspecified
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Assigned To: Release Notes Tracker
Fedora Docs QA
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Depends On:
Blocks:
  Show dependency treegraph
 
Reported: 2013-05-14 11:47 EDT by Leslie Satenstein
Modified: 2013-05-19 14:12 EDT (History)
4 users (show)

See Also:
Fixed In Version:
Doc Type: Bug Fix
Doc Text:
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Clone Of:
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Last Closed: 2013-05-19 14:12:13 EDT
Type: Bug
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oVirt Team: ---
RHEL 7.3 requirements from Atomic Host:
Cloudforms Team: ---


Attachments (Terms of Use)
ODT format markup of the first page of the release notes. (29.23 KB, application/vnd.oasis.opendocument.text)
2013-05-14 11:47 EDT, Leslie Satenstein
no flags Details
Spelling corrections, some grammatical improvements, and double word eliminations (32.92 KB, application/vnd.oasis.opendocument.text)
2013-05-14 16:37 EDT, Leslie Satenstein
no flags Details
Remaining (from 4.0 to end ) first pass edits of Fedora 19 Revision (42.37 KB, application/vnd.oasis.opendocument.text)
2013-05-14 23:25 EDT, Leslie Satenstein
no flags Details

  None (edit)
Description Leslie Satenstein 2013-05-14 11:47:48 EDT
Created attachment 747746 [details]
ODT format markup of the first page of the release notes.

Provide details here.  Do not change the blocking bug.

First page of the F19 release notes.

I have a markup document. 
I rephrased some text and corrected errors.

I can do before/after here, so please advise how better to proceed.

Before

You can help the Fedora Project community continue to improve Fedora if you file bug reports and enhancement requests. Refer to Bugs And Feature Requests, on the Fedora wiki, for more information about bug and feature reporting. Thank you for your participation.

After
You can help the Fedora Project community continue to improve Fedora by filing bug reports and enhancement requests. Refer to Bugs And Feature Requests, on the Fedora wiki, for more information about bug and feature reporting. Thank you for your participation. 

Please review the attachment.  Yellow hightlighted text means no change.
Comment 1 Leslie Satenstein 2013-05-14 16:37:08 EDT
Created attachment 747916 [details]
Spelling corrections, some grammatical improvements, and double word eliminations

Please note. I have only covered the first three sections of the Fedora 19 release notes.  
The before imaqe is the web-site page, any correction to that page is noted in the text document with a matching paragraph number.  

Please note, I will replaced topics that are Americanized English with non slang.  Here is an example:

I will talk to you on Bind10.  (revised to ) I will talk to you about Bind10, or concerning Bind10.  I can be on topic or off topic, but normally I stand on the floor, or sit on a chair. I replace on with about, etc. I also "listen to a socket" as opposed to "listen on a socket". 

Spelling fixed, wordiness fixed, sentences split into topics.  

Please advise if you want me to continue. With the changes, translation to other languages will be more accurate with the tw tool.
Comment 2 Pete Travis 2013-05-14 19:21:59 EDT
I've made a number of changes based on the attachments. Thanks for your review, Leslie!
Comment 3 Leslie Satenstein 2013-05-14 23:25:27 EDT
Created attachment 748042 [details]
Remaining (from 4.0 to end ) first pass edits of Fedora 19 Revision

Spelling and grammar checks. Some revising of paragraphs.
Comment 4 Pete Travis 2013-05-19 14:12:13 EDT
Leslie,

I've glanced over the latest attachment. A number of the copy changes in this and previous attachments appear to be for personal preference in phrasing, adding no value to the copy and often degrading the technical accuracy of the work.  

I appreciate your willingness to review, but the method used actually requires more time to identify the changes presented and consider their value than the time it would take for a writer to review the actual copy.  When the changes identified do not improve the original work, this time is wasted.

I hope we can work together to improve the effectiveness of your contributions. It is important to have QA and proofreading of our docs.

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